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If I Was Your Girl (2018) Parents Guide: Is the book OK for kids?

Age Rating, Sex, Violence & Language

Amanda Hardy is the new girl in school. Like anyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is keeping a secret, and she’s determined not to get too close to anyone. But when she meets sweet, easygoing Grant, Amanda can’t help but start to let him into her life. As they spend more time together, she realizes just how much she is losing by guarding her heart. She finds herself yearning to share with Grant everything about herself, including her past. But Amanda’s terrified that once she tells him the truth, he… Sign up for the full guide

YA • 2018 • 320 pages • Grade 9-12

4.1
Average rating by Bontent members
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Age
14+

If I Was Your Girl is a groundbreaking Young Adult novel about Amanda, a transgender girl who moves to a new town to start over after surviving a hate-motivated assault. The book is recommended for readers 14 and up due to its mature explorations of identity, gender dysphoria, and serious themes of bullying and suicidal ideation. While there is a central romance, the content focuses more on the emotional and physical vulnerabilities of… Sign up for the full guide

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Is If I Was Your Girl appropriate for kids?

If I Was Your Girl is a groundbreaking Young Adult novel about Amanda, a transgender girl who moves to a new town to start over after surviving a hate-motivated assault. The book is recommended for readers 14 and up due to its mature explorations of identity, gender dysphoria… Read more — free account

Content severity in If I Was Your Girl

Sex Strong 5/10
Violence Strong 7/10
Language Strong 5/10
Substances Moderate 4/10
Themes Strong 6/10

What happens in If I Was Your Girl, moment by moment

  1. p. 12 🔥 Mature Themes 4/10
  2. p. 22 💬 Language 1/10
  3. p. 35 🔥 Mature Themes 6/10
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Sex and nudity in If I Was Your Girl

Romance is a core plot element, driving much of Amanda's emotional arc in her new town. The physical intimacy remains relatively modest by YA standards, primarily consisting of intense kissing and cuddling between Amanda and Grant. In Chapter 18, the two spend time in a hotel room and discuss her physical history and comfort levels, but the narrative stops before any graphic descriptions of sexual acts occur. There are some references to male and female anatomy in the context of Amanda's transition and medical…

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Violence and gore in If I Was Your Girl

The story includes high-impact scenes of transphobic violence that serve as the catalyst for Amanda's move to Tennessee. In Chapter 6, a traumatic flashback depicts a brutal beating in a mall bathroom where Amanda was targeted and physically assaulted by a group of boys. Later in the book, a tense confrontation at a lake party involves boys surrounding Amanda in a threatening manner, leading to physical harassment and shoving. While these scenes are not gratuitous, they are visceral and highlight the very real…

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Language in If I Was Your Girl

The book contains low to moderate profanity typical of a realistic contemporary YA novel. Readers will encounter words like 'hell,' 'damn,' 'shit,' 'bitch,' and 'ass.' More significantly, the text includes targeted transphobic slurs used by antagonists to illustrate the reality of bullying and systemic bigotry Amanda faces. These slurs are used to depict the cruelty of her peers and the hostility of her environment rather than for shock value. The language is concentrated in scenes of conflict, particularly during…

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Drugs, alcohol, and smoking in If I Was Your Girl

Substance use is handled as a background element of high school social life and is never glorified. There are mentions of teenagers drinking beer at a house party and later at a lake gathering, where some characters appear visibly intoxicated. Amanda herself remains mostly sober and wary of these environments due to her need for safety. The book also details the medical side of transitioning, including the use of hormone replacement therapy (estrogen) and the recovery process following surgeries. There is no usage…

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Mature themes in If I Was Your Girl

Heavy and complex themes include gender identity, dysphoria, and the intense fear of rejection by loved ones. The narrative frequently deals with Amanda's past suicide attempt by overdose, which is discussed with gravity and serves as a major emotional touchstone for her and her mother. The book also explores the strained and evolving father-daughter relationship as Amanda's father struggles to adapt to her identity. Other themes include the search for community, the ethics of disclosure in romantic relationships…

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is If I Was Your Girl appropriate for kids?

Bontent's parent guide suggests If I Was Your Girl is best for ages 14+. If I Was Your Girl is a groundbreaking Young Adult novel about Amanda, a transgender girl who moves to a new town to start over after surviving a hate-motivated assault. The book is recommended for readers 14 and up due…

What age rating does If I Was Your Girl have?

Books don't carry official age ratings. If I Was Your Girl is published for a YA audience, and Bontent's independent parent guide recommends it for ages 14+.

What reading level is If I Was Your Girl?

If I Was Your Girl is 320 pages and its reading level is Grade 9-12. Bontent recommends it for ages 14+.

What is If I Was Your Girl about?

If I Was Your Girl is a groundbreaking Young Adult novel about Amanda, a transgender girl who moves to a new town to start over after surviving a hate-motivated assault. The book is recommended for readers 14 and up due to its mature explorations of identity, gender dysphoria, and serious themes of bullying and…

Is there sex or nudity in If I Was Your Girl?

Romance is a core plot element, driving much of Amanda's emotional arc in her new town. The physical intimacy remains relatively modest by YA standards, primarily consisting of intense kissing and cuddling between Amanda and Grant. In Chapter 18, the two…

How violent is If I Was Your Girl?

The story includes high-impact scenes of transphobic violence that serve as the catalyst for Amanda's move to Tennessee. In Chapter 6, a traumatic flashback depicts a brutal beating in a mall bathroom where Amanda was targeted and physically assaulted by a…

Is the language in If I Was Your Girl appropriate for kids?

The book contains low to moderate profanity typical of a realistic contemporary YA novel. Readers will encounter words like 'hell,' 'damn,' 'shit,' 'bitch,' and 'ass.' More significantly, the text includes targeted transphobic slurs used by antagonists to…

Are drugs, alcohol, or smoking depicted in If I Was Your Girl?

Substance use is handled as a background element of high school social life and is never glorified. There are mentions of teenagers drinking beer at a house party and later at a lake gathering, where some characters appear visibly intoxicated. Amanda herself…

What mature themes appear in If I Was Your Girl?

Heavy and complex themes include gender identity, dysphoria, and the intense fear of rejection by loved ones. The narrative frequently deals with Amanda's past suicide attempt by overdose, which is discussed with gravity and serves as a major emotional…

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