Before We Were Yours (2017) Parents Guide: Is the book OK for kids?

The book contains several disturbing incidents of sexual abuse or harassment of children that are central to the trauma depicted. A predatory character referred to as Mr. Pussycat attempts to molest young girls like Rill, creating a pervasive sense of danger within the orphanage walls. There are descriptions of older men 'inspecting' children in ways that clearly imply sexual predation and the grooming of vulnerable wards. The narrative also explores the long-term psychological scars left on survivors like Fern…

Violence is frequent and often traumatic, involving the systemic physical abuse of children at the hands of those meant to protect them. Scenes describe children like Camellia being beaten with straps, dunked in cold water as a form of sensory punishment, and force-fed until they choke for crying or simple disobedience. The deaths of children due to medical neglect and lack of sanitation are depicted through Rill’s eyes, highlighting the disposability of the poor. Physical restraint is commonly used by the staff…

Language is relatively mild for adult historical fiction, serving primarily to ground the dialogue in the era or indicate character frustration. Occasional use of 'hell,' 'damn,' and 'bitch' occurs, particularly when characters are under high stress or dealing with the corrupt authorities. Characters like Avery or the river people use these terms in passing, but the book does not rely on profanity for shock value. The word 'bastard' is used in its literal and pejorative sense regarding the children's parentage and…

Occasional references to social drinking appear in both the historical and modern timelines, reflecting the social norms of the upper class and the river folk. Avery and her family are shown drinking wine or cocktails at high-society events in South Carolina. The more sinister use of substances involves sedatives like paregoric being used to keep children compliant and quiet for prospective adoptive parents. These medications are administered against the children's will to hide their natural vitality or signs of…

Heavy themes of human trafficking, systemic corruption, and the loss of identity permeate both timelines of this historical novel. The story explores the lasting effects of childhood trauma and family separation as Avery Stafford uncovers her family's hidden history. The modern timeline also focuses on the reality of aging and dementia as Avery cares for her grandmother, Judy, and her father. Readers witness the exploitation of the poor by those in power and the devastating impact of forged identities on the Foss…