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The Secret Language of Relationships (1997) Parents Guide: Is the book OK for kids?

Age Rating, Sex, Violence & Language

This book cross matches every birthday with every other birthday and explains what the relationship between two people with those birthdays will be like. I’ve been using this book for over twenty years and have found it to be viscerally accurate, both when reading it before and after knowing a person.

Adult • 1997 • 819 pages • General Adult

4.4
Average rating by Bontent members
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Age
14+

This is a non-fiction astrology encyclopedia that analyzes interpersonal dynamics based on birth dates. Because it is a reference book for relationships, it includes frank discussions of marital conflicts, physical attraction, and psychological intimacy. It is best suited for older teens and adults who can approach pseudoscience with a critical eye, as it occasionally uses mild profanity to describe personality clashes and addresses… Sign up for the full guide

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Is The Secret Language of Relationships appropriate for kids?

This is a non-fiction astrology encyclopedia that analyzes interpersonal dynamics based on birth dates. Because it is a reference book for relationships, it includes frank discussions of marital conflicts, physical attraction, and psychological intimacy. It is best suited for… Read more — free account

Content severity in The Secret Language of Relationships

Sex Moderate 4/10
Violence None 0/10
Language Moderate 3/10
Substances Mild 2/10
Themes Strong 5/10

What happens in The Secret Language of Relationships, moment by moment

  1. p. 12 🔥 Mature Themes 2/10
  2. p. 28 🔥 Mature Themes 2/10
  3. p. 44 ♥ Sex & Nudity 3/10
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Sex and nudity in The Secret Language of Relationships

The book frequently uses terms like 'sexual attraction,' 'physical chemistry,' and 'erotic' to describe the potential between two signs. While it does not contain graphic sexual scenes, it discusses the likelihood of two signs becoming lovers or having a high-energy physical connection. Goldschneider analyzes different zodiac pairings based on their 'sensual' compatibility, often categorizing relationships into groups like 'Lovers' or 'Marriage.' These descriptions focus on the psychological and biological…

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Violence and gore in The Secret Language of Relationships

Physical violence is entirely absent from this text. The focus remains strictly on psychological profiles, communication styles, and interpersonal dynamics within a personology framework. Any mention of conflict is presented through a behavioral lens, such as the tendency for certain pairings to engage in 'verbal sparring' or 'mental manipulation' rather than physical altercations. The text is analytical and academic in tone, ensuring that the 'warfare' described is metaphorical and limited to social or…

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Language in The Secret Language of Relationships

Occasional use of mild to moderate profanity appears in the personality profiles to emphasize intense traits or volatile relationships. Words like 'hell,' 'damn,' and 'bitchy' are used sparingly in the context of describing temperament and heated interpersonal exchanges. The author uses these terms to add flavor to the descriptions of 'difficult' personalities, particularly when explaining how one sign might provoke another. Because the book is an encyclopedia of human behavior, the language reflects common…

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Drugs, alcohol, and smoking in The Secret Language of Relationships

The book occasionally mentions social habits, such as a pair's likelihood to enjoy parties, fine dining, or 'over-indulgence' in sensory pleasures, but does not provide graphic depictions of drug or alcohol use. References to 'hedonism' or 'partying' appear in profiles for more social, extroverted pairings, often suggesting that shared indulgence is a bonding activity. A few entries mention 'drinking' as a social lubricant or a byproduct of a high-energy lifestyle shared by two individuals. These mentions are…

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Mature themes in The Secret Language of Relationships

The primary themes involve personality theory, psychological archetypes, and relationship health. It touches on heavy topics like divorce, betrayal, parenting challenges, and professional competition to provide a full spectrum of human interaction. The author explores how different birth weeks influence a person's approach to authority, family life, and long-term commitment. In chapters covering 'The Week of the Prophet' or 'The Week of the Loner,' the text deals with isolation, mid-life crises, and existential…

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is The Secret Language of Relationships appropriate for kids?

Bontent's parent guide suggests The Secret Language of Relationships is best for ages 14+. This is a non-fiction astrology encyclopedia that analyzes interpersonal dynamics based on birth dates. Because it is a reference book for relationships, it includes frank discussions of marital conflicts, physical…

What age rating does The Secret Language of Relationships have?

Books don't carry official age ratings. The Secret Language of Relationships is shelved by its publisher as Adult, but that's a marketing category, not a content rating — Bontent's own review of what's actually on the page puts it at ages 14+.

What reading level is The Secret Language of Relationships?

The Secret Language of Relationships is 819 pages and its reading level is General Adult. Bontent recommends it for ages 14+.

What is The Secret Language of Relationships about?

This is a non-fiction astrology encyclopedia that analyzes interpersonal dynamics based on birth dates. Because it is a reference book for relationships, it includes frank discussions of marital conflicts, physical attraction, and psychological intimacy. It is best suited for older teens and adults who can approach…

Is there sex or nudity in The Secret Language of Relationships?

The book frequently uses terms like 'sexual attraction,' 'physical chemistry,' and 'erotic' to describe the potential between two signs. While it does not contain graphic sexual scenes, it discusses the likelihood of two signs becoming lovers or having a…

How violent is The Secret Language of Relationships?

Physical violence is entirely absent from this text. The focus remains strictly on psychological profiles, communication styles, and interpersonal dynamics within a personology framework. Any mention of conflict is presented through a behavioral lens, such as…

Is the language in The Secret Language of Relationships appropriate for kids?

Occasional use of mild to moderate profanity appears in the personality profiles to emphasize intense traits or volatile relationships. Words like 'hell,' 'damn,' and 'bitchy' are used sparingly in the context of describing temperament and heated…

Are drugs, alcohol, or smoking depicted in The Secret Language of Relationships?

The book occasionally mentions social habits, such as a pair's likelihood to enjoy parties, fine dining, or 'over-indulgence' in sensory pleasures, but does not provide graphic depictions of drug or alcohol use. References to 'hedonism' or 'partying' appear…

What mature themes appear in The Secret Language of Relationships?

The primary themes involve personality theory, psychological archetypes, and relationship health. It touches on heavy topics like divorce, betrayal, parenting challenges, and professional competition to provide a full spectrum of human interaction. The author…

Where can I read the full The Secret Language of Relationships parent guide?

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